Many many months ago, i read a book titled "The pig who wants to be eaten".
most of the part that i read was the dilemma happening around us.
well, i didnt actually finish the whole book...
in fact, i onli read abt 1/4 of it.
my bro borrowed it from his fren and it's kind of near its due date for return when i actually started reading it.
it has this topic as the the title of the cover stated.
in a scenario when u r given a choice of food in a restaurant:
a pig which was generically modified to be able to tok and its only desire is to be eaten.
a chicken which is braindead, cant move or do anyth. well, we dont noe wat its desire is since its braindead.
which to choose?
well the pig is like a human who tells us to kill him as his only desire is to be killed. while the chicken is like a human who was born vegetable without the freedom to choose to die or not.
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Another topic is about something like the meaning of a certain word.
the way that we are able to communicate using words and somehow get the meaning of what the other is trying to say even though we are not them.
if i say there's a square draw on that paper,
how do i know if the square im refering to is the same as the square that you know of?
there may be a possibility that i gave the nickname: square, to a shape: circle.
something like that although its abit corny.
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It doesnt kind of make sense.
each second of our life is too unique.
each second i stop to think what to do or to actually do smth,
cant help to think that my time is actually running out.
each thing we do for that second doesnt seems like they can be repeated, in other word, done again with the same environment/condition/mood/ somth like that.
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I've been trying to do what i wanted for the past few days/months.
Well, ive graduated(thats whats stated), so im trying to find what do i want to live for.
it seems that im still stuck. stuck to where i started.
most things dont seems to interest me much.
things that interest me feels too out of reach.
money seems to be too big an obstacle.
cant do much due to national service too.
ive medical probs and unnable to go for combat catergory though.
i dont understand wats the MOs r thinking too.
will my life be spared?
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Slacking for these few weeks.
watched lots of anime, played guitar, walked around/inside malls, walked in library, worked for four days, read lots of books(didnt finish them though)..
jus like a unfilial child living off his parents.
an excuse for myself will be, entering NS soon.
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doesnt seem like i can acheive anyth this year too.
if i tell this to ppl around me, they will tell me to be positive.
im always surrounded by great ppl.
reality dont always hurt...
i will lie when they are abt to.
i tend to lie alot.
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NUS, NTU or?
like a rebellious student refusing to do homeworks just becoz most ppl tell me to.
less than 2 years to consider.
srry for making this post moody.
gonna continue my episodes.
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